you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
