My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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