Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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