sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
All the doctor said was why
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
