I'm really into asian looking animals
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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