I just saw a hot homeless man
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
