I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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