Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
