this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
