Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
