that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
