he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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