He asked me if I "almost moaned"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
