At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
