Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
