am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
