I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize