spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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