i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
