i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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