Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I love how my cats smell like pot.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
