Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Also, beer. Big fan.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
