Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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