Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
