I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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