She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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