I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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