Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
