Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
