What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
