I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I want a musical about memes.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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