even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
