I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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