I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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