....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
