I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
