Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
