my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i think i have two assholes
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Randomize
