I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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