Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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