That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
