I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
