It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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