I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
