You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
