He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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