She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
