Umm I'm too high to move.
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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