Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
