I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
