so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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