Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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