I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
